Behold the Power of Girlfriends (serious, just this once)

I think the number one issue in my life right now as a military wife and mother, and who are we kidding, a wife and mother in general is finding balance between nurturing my own identity and nurturing my children’s identity. 

In the pre-marriage, pre-commitment, pre-kid phase our partners are typically initially attracted to us because of our interests, our talents, or zest for life.  We are passionate about similar issues.  We enjoy the same the same things.  We stay up all night talking and our sex life isn’t something that we have to work at.   Then at some point you find yourself at Target on a Saturday morning  in your husband’s sweats and on old fleece (because post baby your yoga pants aren’t as forgiving as they used to be) trying to remember if you brushed your teeth . . .  and you realize you are starting to lose yourself in your own life.  Take solace in the fact that, whether we admit it or not, we’ve all been there.

I feel it all the time, and for a long time was scared to say a word about.  My whole life I have been taught about the awesome responsibility, but also great privilege of motherhood.  You are told about the feeling when you first hold your baby and the connection you feel.  You are told about all of the wonderful milestones your children will accomplish and the sense of accomplishment you will both feel.  You aren’t told about the days and nights when you feel like you just can’t take it, in fact you feel weak for even thinking it, let alone discussing it.  You aren’t told about sacrificing a piece of you as a mother – it is an invisible battle scar that we all share. 

Behold the power of girlfriends.  I credit my girlfriends for keeping me sane – for forcing me to make time for me – for nurturing who I am.  In large ways and smaller ways, they support me as a mother, as a wife, and most importantly as a person.  They say it takes the village to raise the child – but it really takes the village to raise the mother.  There is no training course - we aren’t born knowing what to do.  We learn by trial and error and we learn through the relationships that we form with one another.

This is not to say that my husband does not support me.  He is my best friend, the peas to my carrots, my biggest supporter, and my number one fan and I am the same for him.  My world is a richer and better place because of him. 

There is just also something to be said about the power of girlfriends.