Top 10 . . .

Top Ten Quotes of the Last few weeks from the pookies . . .

10.  O:  "Daddy, Home.  Daddy, Home.  Daddy, Home."

 9.   O:  "Uh oh, hot poop."
 8.   E:   "Mommy, when you don't get it right the first time, you can't just quit." (I was driving)

 7.   E:   "We're at Walmart, where are the fudgeballs?" (I got lost - see above quote and nearly dropped the F-bomb.  I covered it up with fudgeballs.  She is ALWAYS listening."

 6.   PaPa: "O, who is your boyfriend?"  O: "pat-rick"

 5.   E:   "Mommy, are these frickin noodles?"  (two months ago I told her to eat her fricken noodles)
 4.   E:   "Mommy I'll give you two choices, you can give me gummies or candy."  (I usually give her two choices - one good and one awful to persuade her into making the choice I want her to.)

 3.   E:  "Mommy, the doughnuts are right over there.  Jadyn likes doughnuts.  If she wanted to eat those doughnuts at Mema's house, I would eat them to because I am her friend."

 2.  E:   "Mommy, thats the last zuzu pet baby.  It is all alone without a Mommy.  We have to take it home to Daisy - she can be her Mommy."

 1.  E:   "Ever since you had THAT baby, I only get one arm."

Still alive . . .

Between D being home and adjusting to D not being home, I haven't had the time or to be quite honest the energy to keep up!  I received my usual, "are you alive" calls this week and realized it was time to come out of my self inflicted emotional hibernation.   I tend to disappear into a world of comfort . . . of bagels, diet coke, gilmore girls, and snuggles.  I do this partly because these are my favorite things and your favorite things develop from  your past and who you are.  It seems like this is pushing it, but I'll break it down.

Bagels:  My Dad loves bagels.  Some of my best memories of being a little girl involved bagels with my Dad at the breakfast table.  We still have them when he comes up to visit.  Anytime I see a bagel it makes me think of my Dad and makes me feel safe.  His favorite is cinnamon sugar - so is Emma's . . .

Diet Coke:  Most of my high school and college memories involve diet coke.  Whether it was late nights in a friend's attic talking about first loves over chicken stuff.  Late afternoons with chips with lime discussing the issues that shaped a lot of what I believe.  Or early morning studying and learning how to spend time by myself and be happy.

Gilmore Girls:  Most people don't know this, but this a show I watched with my Mom in highschool.  On tuesday nights in college I always called my Mom after gilmore girls.  It is something that we have shared, even when we were mad at each other.  Even when we weren't seeing eye to eye.

You can read it as over analyzing, but if you look at your comfort routines, I bet you find the same things . . .

Behold the Power of Girlfriends (serious, just this once)

I think the number one issue in my life right now as a military wife and mother, and who are we kidding, a wife and mother in general is finding balance between nurturing my own identity and nurturing my children’s identity. 

In the pre-marriage, pre-commitment, pre-kid phase our partners are typically initially attracted to us because of our interests, our talents, or zest for life.  We are passionate about similar issues.  We enjoy the same the same things.  We stay up all night talking and our sex life isn’t something that we have to work at.   Then at some point you find yourself at Target on a Saturday morning  in your husband’s sweats and on old fleece (because post baby your yoga pants aren’t as forgiving as they used to be) trying to remember if you brushed your teeth . . .  and you realize you are starting to lose yourself in your own life.  Take solace in the fact that, whether we admit it or not, we’ve all been there.

I feel it all the time, and for a long time was scared to say a word about.  My whole life I have been taught about the awesome responsibility, but also great privilege of motherhood.  You are told about the feeling when you first hold your baby and the connection you feel.  You are told about all of the wonderful milestones your children will accomplish and the sense of accomplishment you will both feel.  You aren’t told about the days and nights when you feel like you just can’t take it, in fact you feel weak for even thinking it, let alone discussing it.  You aren’t told about sacrificing a piece of you as a mother – it is an invisible battle scar that we all share. 

Behold the power of girlfriends.  I credit my girlfriends for keeping me sane – for forcing me to make time for me – for nurturing who I am.  In large ways and smaller ways, they support me as a mother, as a wife, and most importantly as a person.  They say it takes the village to raise the child – but it really takes the village to raise the mother.  There is no training course - we aren’t born knowing what to do.  We learn by trial and error and we learn through the relationships that we form with one another.

This is not to say that my husband does not support me.  He is my best friend, the peas to my carrots, my biggest supporter, and my number one fan and I am the same for him.  My world is a richer and better place because of him. 

There is just also something to be said about the power of girlfriends.