Dream weaver.

Day 1, I took on the lawn. 

I am a strong, capable, independent women.  I am able to handle conflict and stress.  I am apparently unable to water the lawn.   I watered the front no problem.  Placed the sprinkler perfectly - nice even water - beautiful.  Then I went to the back and realized that I needed to carefully place two sprinklers to hit the entire area.  Again, I am a strong individual with the ability reason - I can handle this.  I place the first sprinkler, not realizing (until I am being assaulted) that it actually needs to be pounded into the ground and it not joke attacks me like a bat out of hell.  It was spraying me everywhere and literally bouncing around the yard as I ran in the opposite direction.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you imagine what the soundtrack would be to a scene in your life?  I didn't have to wonder as I was given the sweet sweet serenade of  "oooh dream weaver I believe you can get my through the night."  At first I thought for sure I was hallucinating.  Then I decided I was being haunted by a ghost with horrible taste in music and a sense of humor to match.  I then look over to see my neighbor being clearly amused by my plight.  In his defense, he very sweetly asked if I needed help, but not before he asked if my shower was broken.  To which I internally replied, "shut it dreamweaver" and externally replied, "nope" and did my best smile and wave.

My humiliation continued when I went in to wallow in my defeat with a side of captain crunch and check on my toddler.  She was still awake and had apparently snuck to the guest room to also share in the sideshow.  She accused me of "playing in the sprinkler without her."  Then when I was calmly explaining I was the victim of a run by sprinkling, she smelled my breath and said, "have you been eating crunch berries?"  I got cereal breathlalized by my toddler and berated by an inanimate object and a Gary White fan in the same day.  Oh Day 2 how I long for you.